Malto Mario


The Lady & Sons

1,000 Italian Recipes

Sunday, June 29, 2008

How Much Abuse Can One Danish Braid Take?

When I saw this month’s challenge, I was pretty excited.. not only were 2 very lovely people (Kelly of Sass & Veracity and Ben of What’s Cooking) hosting this month, but they had chosen a recipe I’d always wanted to try – DANISH. Seriously, when you get a good Danish, is there anything better? Buttery layers, soft and gooey and always filled with GOOD STUFF!

So lemme tell ya’ll.. I’m sure you’ve seen quite a few Daring Baker challenge posts already today and some of you might even be a lil a-scared. Well don’t be. And I’m going to tell you why. I beat the ever-lovin’ shit out of this dough and it STILL gave me a flakey, buttery, delicious end product. Seriously.

Lil Apple Danish Lil Apple Danish with Coffee Glaze

A few of us got together a few weeks ago to bake the braid.. and well, I was doing this and that and running here and there ultimately running out of time during the day to even shape, fill and proof my braid. So I had this rectangular slab of dough, chock full of fine European butter – what the hell do I do now? The gals suggested I go ahead and freeze it until I was ready to bake. And that I did.. so there’s the first injustice (INJUSTICE NO. 1!) committed against my dough.

And then the same bunch got together last Sunday to bake the garlic knots, so I decided I could take on the braid at the same time. HAR! I crack myself up! Like I can even walk and chew gum at the same time.. but I’m going to take on not one but TWO yeast breads at the same time? hahahahahahaa! They don’t call me the Queen of Dorks for nothin’ yanno?

INJUSTICE NO. 2 – someone who cared about her dough would have taken it out of the freezer the night before, placed it gently in the fridge and allowed it to slowly thaw out over night. Well I did care! But I’m a moron! I forgot to take it out of the freezer the night before so at 6 a.m. on Sunday morning I placed it on my counter. :P

How could ANYONE neglect that face???? *chomp* *chomp* I could eat him with a spoon!

Okay so garlic knot making ensued.. and it was fun and I chit chatted and behaved myself and showed off wedding photos of myself and Becks.. *cough* and then I excused myself from the chat so that I could give some attention to my son, Nigel, as he was acting as if he never gets any loving from ANYONE.. poor lil neglected puppy (yeah right). Mmm hmm.. ‘kay well I laid down on the sofa in our office and he hopped up and we played and cuddled and told each other that we loved each other and HELLO- next thing I knew? It was 3 hours later. I had fell asleep. Gah.

So my dough had sat out on the counter of my relatively warm kitchen for approximately SIX HOURS. Oops.. I believe we’ll present that as INJUSTICE NO. 3. *sigh*

Well as ya’ll can imagine after my nap, I couldn’t be bothered with the task of shaping, filling, proofing and baking my braid – so I threw it back in the fridge. May it please the court – INJUSTICE NO. 4!

Next morning.. I sheepishly peeked into my fridge fully expecting my dough to be bent over with cheeks spread giving me the full moon – but no.. it laid there obediently. So now I’m thinking that it’s being nice while in the fridge but when I try to roll it out, it’ll act up and be all sorts of bitchy – it’ll go all elastic on my ass.

Huh. It didn’t.

Apple Danish

I cut it in half and it rolled out nicely.. it stayed in place and didn’t shrink up on me.. it laid still while I filled it and cut the fringe for the braid – and it wasn’t even its fault that it looked so NOT like a braid when I was through (I managed that all by myself, thankyouverymuch). It didn’t rise all too much.. actually it was kinda more like a quasi-braided filled pancake than anything else, but again, I blame myself on that one – I don’t think I should have rolled it so thin.

Lil Apple Danishes

And the reason I blame myself is because after I cut out a dozen squares from the 2nd half of the dough and shaped them into hilarious looking single pastries, I had this huge honkin’ blob of scraps left-over. I was just picking it up to throw it away (INJUSTICE NO. 5!) when I realized that was an awful lot of expensive European butter to be throwin’ away so I said, “fakk it” and I rolled it all out again, grabbed a couple handfuls of brown sugar and dumped it down the middle, sprinkled on some cinnamon and then took about a ¼ c. of butter and threw lil blobs of it here and there – braided it all up and allowed it to proof. I got a nice puffy lookin’ braid by the time I was ready to bake.. after it came out of the oven I whipped up a quick glaze of powdered sugar and super strong coffee and drizzled it all over the top. it was flippin’ gorgeous. I was shocked!!!

Cinnamon Danish with Coffee Glaze

Soon it was time for the first taste and I shite you not, kids! It was HEAVENLY – the best out of the 3 uses of this dough. And it was a MISTAKE! hahahahahahaa! Damn.

But keep in mind, although rather flat – the first braid was buttery and flakey and tasted wonderful. The lil pastries were actually quite cute and they turned out very flakey.. and then the cinnamon braid was stupendous – after all of the bad, bad things I’d done to this dough, it still kicked some arse! So if mine turned out this well.. you have no excuse not to try it yourselves!

Cinnamon Danish with Coffee Glaze

Now think about this.. you’ll get through the whole procedure without any injustices to your dough, because ya’ll are way more talented than I am. Imagine how much more fabulous yours will turn out! Now that’s my kinda dough! :)

Cinnamon Danish with Coffee Glaze

Start clickin’ on that blogroll.. you’ll find more than enough AWESOME posts to inspire you to make your own Danish Braid before the month is over… :)


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Comments on "How Much Abuse Can One Danish Braid Take?"


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6/29/2008 12:33 AM) : 

HAR!!! Lisa, you crack me up!!! I can't believe all the things you did that dough. See you too can be Queen of Yeast along with Queen of Dorkdom!!!


Blogger Heather B said ... (6/29/2008 12:37 AM) : 

awwwww...I love Nigel! He looks like the kind of pup my Charlie would have a blast playing with!

Your braids and goodies look so delicious! I wish I had some more of the pastry to eat right now! Great job this month!


Blogger Barbara said ... (6/29/2008 3:10 AM) : 

LOL. I love your braids. I'm even going to try making some soon.


Blogger Peabody said ... (6/29/2008 4:29 AM) : 

My you did do some injustice to your poor dough. Luckily it was loving you and was kind. They look great.


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6/29/2008 4:48 AM) : 

Simply perfect! Elga


Blogger Cakelaw said ... (6/29/2008 6:19 AM) : 

LOL - it's funny how when you fuss and bother, things go pear-shaped, but when you just go "what the heck!" and do it, it works a dream! Loved the sounds of the "mistake" filling - yum!


Blogger Laura Rebecca said ... (6/29/2008 6:43 AM) : 

If "injustices" can turn out danish THIS beautiful and delicious looking, I think you should beat the hell out of all your pastries.

Seriously, Lis, I'm drooling here -- these are gorgeous!

(Hey, also -- when are we all getting together for a weekend of foodie bacchanalia?)


Blogger giz said ... (6/29/2008 7:04 AM) : 

Your story is hilarious. I can just imagine the shock when you woke up and realized you had fallen asleep. In spite of it all, the braid is incredible, the smell to die for and all is good with the world.


Blogger Helen said ... (6/29/2008 7:15 AM) : 

I have been trying to e-mail to you report that I have done the challenge and to get a logo, but our e-mails seem determined not to talk to each other!

It was a great challenge and yes the dough seems to take lots of abuse, thanks for having me in the Daring Bakers!


Blogger Rachel@fairycakeheaven said ... (6/29/2008 7:41 AM) : 

So funny but do you know there's nothing like a tough dough that holds it's own and isn't being all woman-ey and collapsing and breaking and all!!! Shortcrust - bah. Danish dough - WOOHOO!!!!


Blogger Judy@nofearentertaining said ... (6/29/2008 7:46 AM) : 

WHat a great dough to have suffered all of that and still come through with flying colors!!! Love the braids and pastries!!


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6/29/2008 7:59 AM) : 

LOL...left with out a word to comment :)


Blogger Sarah said ... (6/29/2008 8:16 AM) : 

Glad the dough was so forgiving for you...great job!


Blogger Gretchen Noelle said ... (6/29/2008 8:39 AM) : 

Wow, those look just delicious! Great job despite your abuse! :)


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6/29/2008 9:26 AM) : 

You are clearly a true master - no dough would ever disobey you :) I enjoyed reading your post - and your danish looks delicious! Very cute puppy.


Blogger David T. Macknet said ... (6/29/2008 9:27 AM) : 

Truly - it is a wonderful dough recipe, and I'm glad that you trauma-tested it to prove just that! They look wonderful!


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6/29/2008 10:25 AM) : 

I was all but ready to hand you my crown of "Killer of Yeast" but ya aced it and really now, how many crowns can a girl have????


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6/29/2008 10:48 AM) : 

Your braid doesn't LOOK like it was abused. You'll obviously fool the pastry police this time! :-)

Seriously, it looks perfect!


Blogger Mary said ... (6/29/2008 11:18 AM) : 

You are so funny! Actually I cut corners massive on this one. I did like the speed round version. I cut minutes any chance I could just to finish it on time. And I think you're right. I think there's no way to screw it up!

Yours looks delicious by the way.


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6/29/2008 11:38 AM) : 

Very nicely done! The best part about this challenge was the relaxing & forgiving nature of it. Glad you could take a nap & giggle with friends while doing this one!

xoxox Amy


Blogger BC said ... (6/29/2008 12:08 PM) : 

I was tough on my dough too! Too much time to rise, slapping it into the freezer, yada yada... and it still worked!


Blogger Marce said ... (6/29/2008 12:29 PM) : 

hahaha that´s one very forgiving dough then, and I think your post was the perfect way to help people get over their pastry fears, and get a few chuckles in the process.
Your braid and pastries look wonderful, and I´m glad you used all the scraps, I never through away dough if it can be recycled with wonderful results.


Blogger MyKitchenInHalfCups said ... (6/29/2008 1:22 PM) : 

I think Mary's got it, you get double titles on this one. It just goes to show you, yeast is not to be feared! Your pastries are lovely the braid incredible!! Throw it out. . . I think not unless you're throwing it in my direction!


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6/29/2008 2:40 PM) : 

Hysterical! and your pastries all look delicious


Blogger Valentina said ... (6/29/2008 3:19 PM) : 

As usual your narratives are just awesome, humourous and terribly informative at the same time.How do you manage? It inspired me to try making this danish braid.


Blogger glamah16 said ... (6/29/2008 4:22 PM) : 

'Well i never would have guessed all of that was going on behind closed doors.They seemed , looked, and tasted so perfect...";-)


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6/29/2008 4:53 PM) : 

I'm glad your dough was so forgiving! Your braid looks beautiful. I love the glaze on top.


Blogger Sarah said ... (6/29/2008 5:20 PM) : 

Your braids look beautiful - and so delicious! I want a bite of your "mistake!"



Blogger steph- whisk/spoon said ... (6/29/2008 6:28 PM) : 

glad that dough had the good sense to behave! those big braids look great, and i love the little shapes, too!


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6/29/2008 7:27 PM) : 

I love your pastries and your braid, everything looks so gooey and sugary and good!


Blogger Helene said ... (6/29/2008 7:27 PM) : 

I miss Nigel! Tippy thinks he is the same size, ehehee!!
Girl...the things you do to your dough...that just cracks me up!
They all turned out gorgeous!


Blogger Brownie said ... (6/29/2008 8:53 PM) : 

Yummy! I love all the toppings. The glaze looks so tasty. Mmm, and the little sugar crystals.


Blogger Shelby said ... (6/29/2008 9:06 PM) : 

LOL, great post. I love how you admitted you abused your poor dough and it still turned out for you! Great looking pastries and braids!


Blogger The Baker & The Curry Maker said ... (6/29/2008 9:36 PM) : 

You're so right, this dough was sturdy and took the lot huh. Your danishes look great!


Blogger Brilynn said ... (6/29/2008 9:56 PM) : 

I really wanted to make this one and apparently I could have done it in multiple steps without following general baking rules and it still would have turned out! Good to know... the braids look great Lis!


Blogger Robyn said ... (6/29/2008 10:52 PM) : 

LOL! That's hilarious! I'm glad it turned out well even with all those injustices!


Blogger Jaime said ... (6/30/2008 12:16 AM) : 

wow, you proved that this recipe is fool proof! beautiful braids and pastries! thanks for a great challenge! :)


Blogger Rachel said ... (6/30/2008 12:19 AM) : 

Sinfully delicious goodies!


Blogger Elle said ... (6/30/2008 12:26 AM) : 

A dough that loves abuse! Your braids are lovely even if abused. Your post, as usual, is outrageously funny!


Blogger bethany (dreadlock girl) said ... (6/30/2008 1:01 AM) : 

oh, wow YUMMY!! Yours looks really great! I loved this challenge too.

thanks for all the work you do to hold this whole thing together :)


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6/30/2008 8:47 AM) : 

oh for crying out loud, here i was treating it like it was a new born baby!! well it's nice to know it's not that fragile! love your story!! and i'm jealous of the pastries!!


Blogger Mari said ... (6/30/2008 11:18 AM) : 

Oh my goodness, you gave me a great laugh and I'm so glad to hear that I can misbehave a bit with the dough. I'm still at the performance anxiety stage (2nd DB challenge), so hopefully I'll be able to loosen up and go with it next time!


Blogger mimi said ... (6/30/2008 12:10 PM) : 

i love your posts, you always crack me up! there should be some dough abuse hotline for these types of injustices! but my oh my, how gorgeous your sweets came out!


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6/30/2008 12:44 PM) : 

OMG OMG OMG, give me a little piece of each... Well... it doesn't have to be too little... :-$

They all look so perfect... Congrats!


Blogger Lesley said ... (6/30/2008 1:28 PM) : 

I have braid envy. Ugh. I hate when I fail at these things! Yours look like they must have been fantastic.


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6/30/2008 2:23 PM) : 

I love your sense of humor (even if you are a confessed dough-abuser). Looks lovely!


Blogger Faery said ... (6/30/2008 4:47 PM) : 

Lisa I love to read your posts. The braid looks gorgeous and yummy.Making my dough was a nightmare.
AAWWN I would also eat that beautiful, cute puppy with a spoon please tell him I send him 1000000 kisses. I want a small dog I have 3big dogs they are not as kiss-able (if that word can be used) :(


Blogger Renee said ... (6/30/2008 5:53 PM) : 

How funny! Your stories make me laugh out loud. Your braids look delish!


Blogger Miss Ifi said ... (6/30/2008 6:19 PM) : 

Wow.. that dough definitely took some abuse!!!! and let me tell you that I am sitting here in my chair laughing so hard!!! .. your story is just awesome!! maybe Danish pastry is masochistic.. who knew *giggles*

It looks wonderful!!! Congratulations ^_^


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6/30/2008 7:11 PM) : 

You're too funny! I love how self-deprecating you are about your baking skills.

I also added a glaze and I think it was a necessary add for my sweet tooth.


Blogger NKP said ... (6/30/2008 10:31 PM) : 

Next time I am definitly going to abuse mine more. I looks great! Great job.


Blogger Susie Homemaker said ... (6/30/2008 10:51 PM) : 

oh, you are too funny! that cinnamon number sounds SOOO good! Its now on my ever growing list of fillings to try with this dough!
Great job!
-Susan of


Blogger Lisa said ... (7/01/2008 1:36 AM) : 

Laughing - this sounds so great! most yeast doughs are very forgiving, but I do believe you crossed all the lines here! they look and sound fabulous!


Blogger Aparna Balasubramanian said ... (7/01/2008 9:41 AM) : 

After all those adventures, your Danish seems to have come through unscathed and done itself and you proud. Looks delicious.
Maybe that's the secret. A relaxed attitude.:)


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (7/01/2008 11:06 AM) : 

Beautiful braids Lisa, but I love the cute doggie.


Blogger Celine's Cuisine said ... (7/01/2008 12:31 PM) : 

What a story! Thank you for sharing it with us. Poor little dough
At the end beautiful braid the icing is great. Can't make it.


Blogger Sara said ... (7/01/2008 12:33 PM) : 

My goodness you are abusive to your dough! Love the one with sugar and butter....yum!


Blogger Gabi said ... (7/01/2008 1:14 PM) : 

I always have to set aside time to read your posts in private because I get the funniest looks when I have tears rolling down my face and am laughing uncontrollably at my computer at work ;)

Well that was lots of fun with your S&M Danish dough-*hee*
I am totally gonna try the cinnamon sugar version with some of my left over dough mmmm.


Blogger Laurie said ... (7/01/2008 1:31 PM) : 

Oh yumm! Beautiful Lisa..and puppy..soo cute!! :)


Blogger Faery said ... (7/01/2008 1:36 PM) : 

He he he I forgot to tell you that you are Tagged and the rules are in my lil blog :D


Blogger Jenny said ... (7/01/2008 3:00 PM) : 

OMG Liz you are going to kill me with laughter one day! (But what a great way to go!)
Did you happen to write down what you did to make the cinnamon version? Cause I might go start a new batch of dough right now, and then sit and wait, wait, wait until you tell me what to throw on mine to make it taste uber awsome! :-)


Blogger Rachael said ... (7/01/2008 8:54 PM) : 

AHHH I love your blog--I've been reading other's blogs for the past few months on a daily basis and I just came across yours tonight! I was lol--I have a toy poddle/shitzu mix "shitpoo" her name is Bettie--she looks like your baby!! I just may become a member of the daring bakers!


Blogger Katie B. said ... (7/01/2008 8:57 PM) : 

Hahahah, now you're just showing off!! Seriously, though, your pastries look great!


Blogger Valerie Harrison (bellini) said ... (7/02/2008 3:25 AM) : 

Injustice didn't send any my way:D


Blogger Clumbsy Cookie said ... (7/02/2008 9:47 AM) : 

Your dough is my hero! This really made me laugh! Everything came out great!


Blogger Bonbon Oiseau said ... (7/02/2008 11:28 AM) : 

funny funny post...this was a daring challenge--looking forward to see what you all bake up next! I am, you know, baking vicariously through this blogroll.


Blogger Unknown said ... (7/02/2008 3:34 PM) : 

OMG. you did amazing things with the dough!!! i love it.


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (7/02/2008 5:38 PM) : 

this was such a great post! I am new to yoru blog, and have fallen in love!!!


Blogger Arlene Delloro said ... (7/02/2008 6:45 PM) : 

It just goes to prove that cooking/baking is not for the intrepid. Loved your story.


Blogger Dolores said ... (7/02/2008 6:45 PM) : 

And I thought *I* was rough on my dough (and equally pleased with it's resilience). But clearly you have me beat there.

Great job... you've got a beautiful braid AND some handsome companion pastries.


Blogger Andrea Meyers said ... (7/02/2008 10:14 PM) : 

You always make me laugh!! The dough really was forgiving, even with all the abuse we dished out, and I agree the cinnamon/sugar/butter filling would be my favorite, too!


Blogger Dharm said ... (7/03/2008 2:03 AM) : 

You Rock Lis! I've probably said this before but I'll say it again - I hate this time difference coz everytime I look on your blog yo havent posted yet and then I get all carried away and by the time I get back to your blog its WAAAY past the post date. Now I think you should just write that up as ANOTHER injustice!! :)
Great Post and Great 3 Danish's


Blogger Sheltie Girl said ... (7/03/2008 10:26 AM) : 

Lisa - You did a fabulous job on your danishes. They are simply beautiful. I need to make some more dough so we can have danishes again. This was a wonderful recipe. I'm so sorry things were challenging this month, they were at out house too. We were getting my husband ready for his thesis defense and then traveling to his university for his presentation. I'm so glad it's all over now. I can't wait to make this month's looks like a lot of fun.

Natalie @ Gluten A Go Go


Blogger creampuff said ... (7/03/2008 9:30 PM) : 


I'm so hungry for Danish again. I loved it ... and the glaze. Now I wish I had put glaze on mine!

You're so funny!


Blogger Unknown said ... (7/05/2008 2:12 PM) : 

Wow...what a journey for that bread! All of it looks delicious!


Blogger Dar said ... (7/06/2008 6:40 PM) : 

OMG, I love your blog. Lis ~ You are hilarious and should be in a sitcom or write for one (preferable on HBO 'cause it just would not be the same sensored), seriously! I have never laughed so hard. I stumbled upon your blog looking form recipe for I don't even remember for what. I am in a desk job that pays very well, but gets really boring and therefore I'm constantly reading blogs to keep myself entertained. Your food looks so yummy, I wish I could just place an order online when I'm too lazy to cook myself. Thank you for the insight in to your cooking world and great humor that goes with it.


Blogger Amy J. said ... (7/06/2008 10:34 PM) : 

I always know that coming to your blog will leave me more enriched, educated, and -dare I say it- laughing my butt off. You are AWESOME!! :D

I missed the deadline for doing this but am still going to make it sometime soon! I think your braids look great - no matter how much S&M you practiced on them. :>


Blogger Tina Butler said ... (7/07/2008 10:30 AM) : 

I love your blog and all your recipes. I came across it searching for a paula deen recipe. I am doing Paula Deen week at my cooking blog so thats how i tumbled across your site. I LOVE IT. I am going to put yoru site up on mine as one of my faves. I am off to check out more of your recipes. Great job. Check my recipe blog out if you have time.



Blogger Tracy said ... (7/09/2008 12:18 AM) : 

That sounds like a process I would do. It looks dee-lish.

And Charlie would love to play with Nigel. (I wonder how many food bloggers have dogs named Charlie. Seems to be a few of us. Nigel is much more original.)


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